developments

I have to post. I finally received word last Friday that I GOT the job I was hoping to get. Not only that, but out of the two available positions, I got the one that is closer to home and better overall. I'm so happy. We're so thankful.

Now, for some reason, my anxiety has gone through the roof in the last week. It started with a perceived chest pain in the early morning. It then changed into a constant hyperfocusing on my breathing and heart. Next came a persistent fear of either heart attack or stroke. Yesterday, the doctor listened to my heart and said it's fine. He said, "you're completely healthy except for your anxiety level." My wife could've given me that same diagnosis, minus the co-pay.

It's dawned on me in the past week that I've been terribly anxious about MANY things in my life. It's beginning to seem like the focus of my anxiety changes, but the anxiety itself is sort of always there. I appear to meet the criteria for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Nice. A therapist with his own mental illness.

So, I start a new and good job on Friday of this week. God has blessed me with a wonderful wife and daughter. And now a good job. The doctor says I also have my health.

My rational mind says to the dysfunctional side: "Be happy and enjoy what you have!" May it be so.