fatherhood is not a chore

In these days before I really have to face the reality of a child, I'd like to propose an idea that's worth remembering. Being a father is a privilege, a responsibility, a challenge and a blessing. Being a father is not a chore.

Why think about this? Well, I guess I'm afraid that in the midst of juggling a career and a marriage and trying to establish a household, I may see the tasks of fatherhood as a chore, as something that tugs on me after I find myself in a position of justifiable rest. I'm just afraid I won't see the truth in those moments. I'm afraid that I won't understand that to nurture, encourage, teach and ultimately release and accept a child is a miraculous and wonderful thing. It's the kind of thing (like marrriage) that makes you more than you ever could've been without it, while in the process emptying you and tiring you like you would not have been emptied or tired otherwise.

I hope I can say to my children: I offer you myself to be emptied and tired for your benefit. Isn't that a worthwhile commitment? Doesn't it have Christian implications? Doesn't it ultimately give one's child a sense of worth and an example of loving parenting that they'll hopefully internalize and one day give back? I hope so. I hope I'm a good father. I hope I'm able to see the experience for what it truly is and to give my children the gift of myself, while simultaneously experiencing the gift they also are giving to me. I only hope, and pray, that my emotions will go along with this resolve and that my feelings and beliefs will cooperate with one another, for in this regard there is much room for improvement.